She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
