Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
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