the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
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