My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
If that was your dad, he is hot
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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