if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
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