Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
