I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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