She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
