just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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