We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
