im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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