She is in my trunk
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
