im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
