I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
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