we have officially lost it.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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