can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
you would pick up someone in the library
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
