And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
