A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Randomize
