my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
