The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
