im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
