check it out our google latitudes are spooning
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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