either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
thus making me awesome and them whores
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
