It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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