so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
