oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
He felt like a one man threesome
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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