remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
