He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
he quoted the bible to break up with me
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
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