he wants to bone in the snuggie
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
