batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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