Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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