Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Randomize
