I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
