No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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