She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
