His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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