So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
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