im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
whose parrot is this?
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Randomize
