Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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