Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
