And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
