there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
