im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
