Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
