i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
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