sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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