I could have mohawked her pubes.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
