Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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