just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
