My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
