The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
