Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
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