Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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