Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
