Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
