who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
