oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
