did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
high people should be assigned attendants
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
