How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
