your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
