it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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