I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
