dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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