I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
