Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I think my moral compass just broke
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