why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
