i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
